Giving a safe place to a child
All children need to feel that their world is a safe place where people will care about them, where their needs for support, respect and friendship will be met, and where they will be able to get help to work out any problems.
Unfortunately Kim could not say that. From very little she had to deal with an abusive father and a mother with a drinking problem. Her parents problems consumed them to such an extent that she had to go and live with friends from the age of 3 years until she was 7 years. There were no relationship between her and a biological parents and the only love she experienced was from the private care arrangements. At the age of 7 years her mother remarried and she was able to move back to her mother. However there was still no bond between her and her mother and the drinking problem did not stop.
The small Kim had to deal with a mother who was under the influence of alcohol, physically and emotionally abused her. Kim reacted through low grades at school and uncontrollable behaviour such as stealing. She was aggressive and destructive. She would for example cut off the heads of dolls. Teachers reported physical marks all over Kim’s body and that she had a very low self esteem.
Her uncontrollable behaviour caused her mother to contact Badisa and inform us that she could not deal with her anymore. A child assessment was done and determined that there was no bond between mother and daughter. The assessment showed that Kim function on the level of a seven year old child while she is already 10 years old.
Kim was adamant that she would rather prefer a placement in a children’s home above staying with her mother. Kim was placed in a children’s home as place of safety where she met her holiday parents and we are happy to report that she is now placed in foster care. Her foster parents arranged for therapy which already has encouraging effects. Kim was assessed as a committed girl and already showing progress in her school work.
The sense of belonging that she is experiencing with her foster parents already has a positive effect on her behaviour and she is well adjusted. The love and care that she experience makes her feel loved and protected. She does not have to act out to get attention anymore! Although it is still a long road ahead to repair all the damage the broken relationships have done in this young girl, with the love, sense of belonging and therapy that she receives from her foster family there is hope!
Would you consider fostering a child? Please contact Sjean at ssmit@badisatrio.org.za.
